Finding the Balance: How Not To Wreck Your Personal Life
in Your Pursuit of Profits
by Ty Freyvogel
When you run your own company it is far too easy to let your company run you. I’ve seen it time and time again in my friends and colleagues: entrepreneurs are likely to forget about the non-business-related parts of life. Why is no mystery. You operate in fast-forward on a daily basis with countless irons in the fire, and if you’re smart and lucky, the money is rolling in and providing a mighty distraction as well. No wonder your personal life is suffering . . . nearly everything you do revolves around business!
If you don’t take any of the advice I offer, I urge you to make this the one exception: remember that you have a family, hobbies, and your soul and conscience to tend to at the end of the workday. Entrepreneurs can, with a little strategy and forethought, balance their “work” and “personal” calendars so that the pursuit of success doesn’t overshadow other important aspects of life like family, friends, and a little playtime as well. Read on to learn a few tips that will help you keep your career and your personal life working harmoniously together.
Factor your family into your life.
If you have a spouse and children, you have to factor them into your life in a meaningful way. Hopefully, your family is already one of the main reasons you work as hard as you do, but they still need your attention and affection and you need theirs in return. True, your business supports your livelihood, but without the things that really matter, your professional life will be empty and unfulfilling.
You’re always hearing advice such as, “keep a weekly date night with your spouse”and “make it a priority to attend your kids’ ballgames or recitals.” I am not knocking such advice and I do think you should strive for that ideal whenever possible. But as an entrepreneur, your life may not be structured that way. So I would put a slightly different spin on it: as often as possible, integrate your family into your world. When you can, include the whole family in your business travels. (Overseas business trips, in particular, can be a great learning experience for children.) Engage the whole family in conversation about your business. Let them see how much fun you are having. Even small children respond to a parent’s genuine excitement about his or her work. As a bonus, you’re teaching kids—by example—the importance of pursuing their passion in life.
Fear the Ferrari phase.
If you have recently started a business and the money is flowing in faster than you ever imagined, spend with caution! I have seen it too many times. A person reaches the million dollar mark and suddenly becomes “invincible”. First he buys his dream car and next he starts taking long luxurious vacations. Soon he golfs several days a week instead of working to maintain his new lifestyle.
This mistake can have a disastrous effect on a young business. You just can’t run a fledgling company from a cruise ship. Your company probably isn’t mature enough to withstand the protracted absences of its founder and cash flow may be too shaky to justify big, unnecessary purchases. Also, and this is just my opinion, it’s a little ridiculous to live an extravagant and gratuitous lifestyle. You don’t need all those toys, you just don’t. Besides, flying too high too fast sets you up for a hard fall. If you live beyond your means and you face the fabled “rainy day,” your car will get repo’ed and you can kiss your vacation days goodbye. Believe me, it’s not a good feeling.
Oh, one more thought along these lines: it’s seldom a good idea to flaunt wealth. It tempts thieves, attracts predators and invites lawsuits. Even when your business really takes off and you’re doing well, it’s a good idea to moderate any impulse you may have to flash the cash.
Avoid arrogance.
If your business has taken a turn for the better, please don’t let it go to your head. Yes you worked hard and got lucky, but if you become an arrogant braggart, you will annoy and alienate your friends and family. And hopefully I don’t need to tell you this, but I’ll throw it in for good measure: don’t assume that your stock has gone up and it’s time to trade in your spouse for a newer model. True love and honest friendship can’t be replaced—or bought. Many entrepreneurs have to learn this the hard way. Finally, “getting the big head” may even cause you to lose clients. (People tend to do business with those they like.) So remain humble and grateful for what you have earned and people will respect you for your good attitude.
Don’t break the rules or you may find yourself breaking rocks.
In the pursuit of a higher paycheck or greater profits, you may be tempted to toy with the law, but the criminal justice system and the IRS have a way of tracking down lawbreakers and making them pay dearly. You may not get caught, but if you do, your professional life and your credibility will be ruined. Plus, you can’t very well run your business from jail, can you?
Abide by your own ethics.
The golden rule applies to the business world too! There is a karmic penalty for compromising your human values in the name of business, even if you won’t necessarily go to jail for it. In general, it is always best not to lie, steal, or cheat your clients or employees. Also remember not to step on others during your climb to the top. If you act like a snake, someone will eventually bite you back!
Common sense is really the best barometer for balancing your life with your work. Keep asking yourself with each decision you make, “How will this affect my business?” and “Can I personally live with this decision?” Always make choices that won’t harm others, but at the same time will help your business. Wise business and life choices will make your profits higher and your blood pressure lower. Just use your head and you will find that you can, indeed, have it all!
The Bus Factor: What If You Were Hit By One Tomorrow?
by Ty Freyvogel
Coming soon
Dancing Around the Burnout Trap
by Ty Freyvogel
For entrepreneurs, burnout is an occupational hazard. In fact, I would go so far as to say that burnout will happen at some point in your career. After all, you are most likely a workaholic. If you follow your natural inclination you might never leave the office! The truth, of course, is that you love your work; entrepreneurs thrive when they can think on their toes and wrap themselves around the creative processes that lead to economic success. But too much unrelenting hard work comes with a price.
Here’s the irony: when things are going too well and your decisions become too easy and the results too predictable, that’s when you may find yourself plagued by utter exhaustion and indifference. Suddenly your efforts, successes and those inevitable disappointments you’ve faced (And, rest assured, there will be bumps in the road.) pile up on you and you not only want a break, you want OUT for good. That’s burnout.
Interestingly, experts disagree on what causes burnout. Is it years upon years of too much stress? Is it a lack of challenge? Is it an inability to maintain a healthy balance? Is it, as I just mentioned, the inevitable result of success? In my opinion, burnout can be caused by a combination of all of these factors. It depends on the individual.
Whether you are a 22-year-old whiz kid in the wake of your first big idea or a seasoned veteran of 40 with a bread crumb trail of successful (or not so much) companies behind you, burnout is an issue that you should be not only aware of, but also prepared to face. By taking the right steps right now you can safeguard yourself from this pitfall that puts all entrepreneurs and their future endeavors at risk.
Below are a few tactics I have relied upon during my career to avoid burnout. I would have folded a long time ago had it not been for the ideology I had to develop about where my work belonged in my life. While its great to be dedicated to the work you love, you have to set limits. When you reach the top of that mountain you spent years scaling, it would be a pity to fall off because you didn’t take the time to look down and see the lovely view.
Read on to discover some of my own tips for dancing around the burnout trap:
Don’t make every lunch a business lunch.
Entrepreneurs tend to “do lunch,” not have lunch. That’s understandable. The mid-day meal is the perfect time to woo new clients, shore up relationships with existing ones or just sit alone in a pub with a legal pad scribbling down new ideas. But do this every day of the week and you’ll start wondering if there is life outside the business sphere. At least once a week, set aside one lunch that is strictly a dining experience, no work allowed. Not every lunch with colleagues has to be business and your coworkers will appreciate a break as much as you.
Exercise. No, really!
So many of us go to the gym or take a jog about once a week or so and call it our routine. (Who hasn’t exaggerated on their doctor’s questionnaire?) Don’t delude yourself that you are so busy it doesn’t matter how physically active (or inactive) you are. You need to respect your body because it is the vehicle that takes you to all of your meetings! But seriously, aside from keeping you in shape, exercise is one of the best stress busters out there and after a great workout you almost always sleep better. So quit working till dusk and take a twilight jog with your dog instead. (He misses you too!)
Know when it’s time to take a break.
Ever notice how your body seems to know when it’s time to quit working before you do? Our bodies all have natural timetables that determine whether we are morning people or midnight people, nappers or insomniacs. These individual innate tendencies need to mesh with our work patterns. For example, if you tend to work best in bulk-time (working for three days nonstop on a particular project), that’s fine. Go with it. But also realize it’s perfectly okay to take a day off on day four, even if day four doesn’t happen to fall on a Sunday or Christmas. You deserve a break from time to time and your body will demand one of you if you don’t honor it.
Make time for vacations.
Take your vacation days. They’re there for you to enjoy so you don’t suffer a meltdown! And insist that your employees take theirs as well. Many times workers see the boss burning the candle at both ends and think, “I shouldn’t be taking breaks if she isn’t.”You will find that you and your colleagues work much better when they are well rested and get to relax from time to time. If you’re thinking, “Freyvogel, you’ve taken leave of your senses—entrepreneurs can’t take vacations!”—well, I agree up to a point. It’s true that getting away for a two-week tropical cruise isn’t possible when you’re in the intense start-up phase. But you can take a four-day weekend here and there to recharge your batteries—and believe me, you’ll regret it if you don’t.
Learn to say NO and mean it.
When your commitments outweigh your time and ability say no. If your status as an entrepreneur makes people approach you for favors, remember that refusing requests doesn’t have to mean burning bridges. You are successful and talented, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t entitled to do whatever the heck you feel like in your coveted free time. As I became more successful I began spending more and more time doing favors for people, like helping someone get into college for instance. Before you know it those little favors you are doing here and there will start tying up your whole day. It’s okay to say no. Here’s my four-step plan on how to do it:
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Affirm the importance of their request: “I know how you feel. I’ve been there.”
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Suggest alternative solutions.
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Encourage them to choose one of the alternative solutions.
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Reinforce your empathy: “Glad I could help.”
Be nice, but be true to yourself before you commit your entire calendar to other people.
Put your family first.
Your family is the most important thing in the world. Period. If you have one, cherish it. If the world were going to end tomorrow, would you want to spend your last night with your company or your family? That’s what I thought. Love them and make them a priority by enjoying dinner with them at least one night a week, taking your kids to the park to play, and keeping a weekly date night with your spouse. And if you don’t have a spouse and children, substitute the word “friends” for family. The people we love are our family in a very real sense. Don’t neglect them. Remember that your family is all you really have, and they are the reason you are working so hard. So take some time to show them how much you appreciate them. Create a balance between work, family and recreation. A motto I always follow is “Work hard, play hard and love hard.”
Get in touch with your spirituality.
Finding a spiritual outlet can often be, for many, the key to peace in a hectic world. If you don’t already go to a church, a temple or some other place of worship, think about checking one out. You will not only become closer to the Source of the Universe, but you will likely meet good, optimistic people to fellowship with (and maybe even network with . . . you are a businessperson at heart, after all.) If organized religion is not for you, there are other avenues for spiritual development. Try setting aside time every day to pray, meditate, or practice yoga or Tai Chi. Paradoxically, it may help you stay calm and grounded and at the same time, provide the energy and inspiration you need to help your career and company soar.
Always use your time wisely!
As a new entrepreneur, time will be of the essence. You’ll quickly find that there aren’t enough hours in the day to accomplish everything that needs to get done. Take a note from Alan Lakein, a personal time management expert, and always take a moment to figure out what the best use of your time is right now. A great way to do this is to rank your tasks in order of their importance. Each day determine your top three priorities and work on them as much as possible in the appropriate order. If one project becomes too overwhelming, mix it up and switch to the next task so you never become too engrossed in one tedious activity for too long.
Lists have always helped me prioritize. I make lists for everything! I can’t start my day without first writing down three things that I must accomplish during that given day. Organization will be key when you start a business. So if you know it is going to be a problem from the beginning, you should find someone who knows how you work so that they can organize your business life. If you realize that a task is too big for you alone, start delegating some of the responsibility. That’s why you have your staff, for support.
Know that sometimes burnout means it’s time to move on.
Don’t assume that burnout means you haven’t balanced your life well enough. If you are living well and your work still leaves you discouraged and unsatisfied, it could signify that you are ready for something new. If so, that’s great. Your role as an entrepreneur within each company usually follows a natural arc and once you have done all you can do, its okay to pass the torch and aim for a new goal. You’ll know it’s time to move on when you run out of fresh ideas. You will find that your excitement and passion return to you when you seek new inspiration.
Remember that your job is only your career, not your entire life. If you devote your complete energy to your work, you will have built an empire, true, but can you really enjoy the harvest if you remain toiling in the field? All work and no play makes Jack not only a dull boy, but a burned out one as well. Your career is very important and it’s a big part of who you are—but it’s not all you are. There are so many other things to enjoy during the short time we’re on earth. Savor it all! The best advice I could ever give a fellow entrepreneur: Like your work, love your life!
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